Consider Him

Toilet training. Let’s just say it was not my favorite part of raising children. In our family, toilet training was a messy process that didn’t come quickly. My first two children did finally manage to achieve success, but when it came to toilet training my youngest son, who has Down syndrome, the task seemed daunting. We made a couple of attempts, but he didn’t seem interested. I went through the recommended process of first charting each time he was wet and then trying to time it just right to put him on the toilet at those scheduled times to help him experience success. There were a lot of failed attempts and even when there was success, I questioned who was being trained, him or me! Then because of some medical problems with which his brother presented, our attention was sidetracked from the task at hand. As life settled back down, I realized my son, who sported Night-time Pull-ups both day and night, was now older than what was considered the average age for toilet training a child with Down syndrome! We were doing the best we could for all our children, but I felt like a failure. It all just seemed too hard.

The seasons changed and the weather began to warm up as springtime arrived. We decided to give toilet training another try. We contacted my son’s teacher and she agreed to join us in the task so we were all being consistent. I got out the new fresh underwear which seemed so thin compared to the Pull-ups he was wearing. I asked advice from a friend, who had been successful in toilet training her daughter who had Down syndrome. We asked a few people to pray as we undertook this project. Everything was in place – everything except my attitude. I was certain this would be a lengthy process with lots of failures, if we would even be successful at all. And, I was tired. Tired of taking care of children with difficult needs. Tired of being overwhelmed. Tired of having to do something that it seemed no one else had to do.

The Easter season was soon upon us and, as we always do, we attended the Good Friday service at church. At that particular service, each person in attendance was given a nail – a spike really, smaller but similar to the kind that was used to nail Jesus’ hands and feet to the cross. During the service, we recalled the passion of Christ. The nail was a reminder of the great love our Heavenly Father has for us, to sacrifice his only Son who paid the penalty for our sin. The service was a graphic one as we focused on Christ’s suffering and death. At the close of the service, we were to deposit the nail in a basket in the back of the sanctuary. Now, don’t tell anyone, but I didn’t put my nail in that basket. I decided to keep it. Something about that visual reminder of what Christ did for me really hit home for me that day. I was reminded of the penalty that Christ took in my place. The beatings and mistreatment and ultimate death and separation from His Father – not because of anything He did, for He was holy – but for my sin, my failings, my shortcomings. I kept the nail in my hand as I walked out of the church in silence.

At home, the nail laid on the kitchen counter for a while. I looked at it a number of times. Toilet training was starting that weekend. Each time I saw that nail, picked it up and felt it in my hands, I imagined something like that going through my own hands and feet. It gave me pause to think. Christ took on my punishment so that I could be reconciled to my Heavenly Father and enjoy the same love that Jesus receives from God. And all I was asked to do at that moment was to work with my son, whom I love with all my heart, to help him achieve toilet training – something that would give him independence, self esteem and dignity. What seemed like such a difficult task suddenly didn’t seem difficult at all. In fact, it seemed like an honor that the Lord would entrust this child to me.

In John 17: 22-23 Jesus says:

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

I was also reminded of this verse in Hebrews that says,

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. - Hebrews 12:2-3

I considered what Jesus sacrificed for me. I considered what he was asking me to do by blessing me with this child who has special needs. I considered his promises that He would never give me more than I could handle. I considered the verse in Philippians that says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It all came into proper perspective – when I considered God’s love for me.

I decided to put the nail in the bathroom as a visual reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice. I saw it each time we entered the bathroom to work on the steps of toileting. God is faithful. In no time, my son was independent in the bathroom. Oh sure, there were accidents and imperfection, but ultimately success. The nail remains in my bathroom as a subtle reminder of God’s great love for me. It reminded me then and it is still reminding me every day.