Even Before I Ask

If I told you my story, it would include multiple challenges my family has faced throughout a 14 year period of time.

We often found ourselves in deep waters and sometimes numbed by pain and blinded by grief. One child was diagnosed with a disability and underwent two complicated surgeries early in his life. Another was diagnosed with a chronic illness which, at the time, promised a shorter life span. Later, my husband was diagnosed and lost his battle with leukemia leaving me a widow to finish rearing our children alone. 

But, if I continued to tell you my story, it would also include a testimony of God's faithfulness and grace in meeting our needs over and over again, sometimes even before we asked.

Jesus taught that in the Sermon on the Mount. He was instructing the people not to pray using vain repetition as the heathen do and added,

"For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." - Matthew 6:8

Often times, God uses a caring community of people to help meet our needs. These are people who understand that God is allowing them to join Him to help accomplish His good work of caring for His children. They do not view it as an imposition but as an opportunity to be a part of what God is doing.

Although it's sometimes painful for me to reflect back on those dark days, time has given me a different perspective.

I've come to understand that God often has more in mind for me than what I could ever imagine.

Because He knows me intimately as my Creator, He knows my personality and how my life experiences have shaped me. Not only did He provide in broad ways to meet the needs of my family but also in more personal ways to meet needs specific to me.

Here are just four out of many, many stories I could share that illustrate how God met me in my pain and provided for me specifically using a caring community of people.

1. Homemade Soup.  We were in the remission period of fighting Jim's battle with leukemia when he began experiencing troubling symptoms. The doctor delivered the devastating news that Jim had relapsed, and we were thrown back into the fight for his life. I was tired and worn by the battle and now not only was the disappointment and discouragement heavy, but I was gripped by fear like never before facing the horrible reality that leukemia might actually take his life. Our grief was heavy, and I physically felt ill. My stomach felt like it was tied in knots, and I found it difficult to eat.

Upon hearing the news of Jim's relapse, a friend came by with a container of homemade chicken noodle soup. She sat with us, entering into our pain that day, and wept with us. Concerned for me, she prepared a bowl of her soup. I can't fully explain it, but the first taste of her soup felt like comfort directly from God. As a kid, my mom would make chicken noodle soup when I was sick. Now, in the middle of this deep devastation, it was like dipping into a bowl of maternal comfort.

My friend had no idea how God would use that bowl of soup to meet my need that day.

2. Anticipating a Need. We were aware that my youngest son would be born with Down syndrome along with a congenital heart defect during my pregnancy with him.  After his birth, it became clearer to us what his medical care would require.While we were returning home from his first doctor appointment, I began wondering how I would manage everything once Jim returned to work.

In God's perfect timing, however, we received a surprise visit from our pastor's wife just after we arrived home. She presented us with a list of people who agreed to provide meals and childcare for as long as we needed.

God was already moving in the hearts of people to help lighten my load before I was even aware of what my need would be.

3. Listen for the Spirit's Prompting.  It was the day before my youngest son was to go into surgery to correct issues with his stomach that caused severe gastro esophageal reflux. I was vacuuming my carpet and with each sweep of the vacuum, my eyes filled with tears. Even though I tried to keep myself busy with housework, my mind kept churning with troubling thoughts. The next day, I would have to hand over my baby, and they would cut into his body. All for a good reason, of course, but still, the thought of it filled me with dread. Would this procedure correct the problem? What if there are complications?

Why, God, does my baby have to go through this?

The phone rang. It was a friend of an acquaintance of mine from my church. She had been thinking of me after hearing about my son's upcoming surgery and wanted to let me know her grandson had undergone the same procedure. She reassured me that it had been successful, and their family was pleased with the outcome. She was prompted to make a phone call to me even though she had never met me.

God, in His perfect timing, used her obedience to that prompting to bring assurance and comfort to me at the exact moment I needed it.

4. Encouragement.  The funeral was over. Friends and family were gone. It seemed everyone else had moved on as if nothing happened. But for me it felt like my life had shattered into a million pieces. My husband, who was my best friend, was gone. Nothing would ever be the same again.

I am blessed with a friend who understood all of that. Each morning after Jim's passing, she sent me a text. She would always tell me that I didn't have to respond if I didn't want to, but she wanted me to know that she was thinking of me and praying for me. The texts came each day for months. God's promise to never leave me was being illustrated through her messages of encouragement. I was not alone. Someone out there was thinking of me.

And I was comforted.

" For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

We receive the blessing when we join Him in the good work of meeting the needs of His children. If you choose to participate, you might not ever be aware of how He uses what you do, but you can trust that He will.

If I told you my story, it would include how humbled I am to know that I am loved by God so deeply that He would provide for me in such intimate ways even before I ask.